He Is

 He is everything to me

 The absolute embodiment of all my dreams come true

 A heart burning with raw energy

 and a passion for life

 Its the fire inside him I find so addictive

 It is that fire I now know as a need

His mind is clear and sharp

So affectionate and so cold in one moment

 A walking paradox of moods

 When he loves you, wants you

 there is nothing to be done 

only succumb to his desire

So sure of himself

so steady is his belief in his own capability

 This assurance is infectious

 For where I used to believe in God,

 now I believe in him.

 I wake up with his name on my lips

 and I go to sleep longing for his touch

 Even in my dreams I do not escape

 For in my subconscious we are together

 Perfectly together.

His whole world fascinates me

 a world full of dreams

 passions, loves and deceptions

 Yet he feels no regret

 he is untouched by guilt

 Unmoved by the pain in my heart through his rejection

I cannot hope to comprehend his reasonings

 his emotions, his logic

 Instead of repelling me as I wish it would

 it only intensifies my admiration

my obsession for his enigmatic character

 He is not as simple or as complicated as he sounds

 He is just - him.

 A beautiful mystery, a lost soul

 He seeks complete devotion from the hearts of many

 and yet is satisfied with none

 His fate I do not know

 I pray that he might be lonely

 so that he might feel the loss of my heart in his life

 however I know it will not be so

 he is somehow above such weaknesses

 A calculating machine

 I crave his attention, good or bad

 Hate myself for consciously becoming so helpless to his power

 but still I want more

 He will never be owned by one woman

 I know that, he cannot be owned

Only in my dreams he is mine

 and if I could, I would sleep forever

Charlotte Gardiner - October 2010