A Long Way Home

I lay for a long time 
The grass and earth moist beneath me 
My thoughts scamper this way and that 
Like the families of field mice hiding somewhere near 
I keep my eyes tight shut 
As I can feel the sun’s warmth fading 
For though I know it will, I don’t want to see it disappear 
My joints are becoming stiff and achy 
And I wiggle my fingers only to discover they are numb 
But still I don’t move 
My mind freezes too and pushes forward my most worrying thought 
How did I get here? 
The question echoes in the silence of creation all around me 

Once upon a time I was surrounded by familiarity 
For one brief moment my eyes came off the path 
A few thoughtless wrong turns and here I am 
Lying cold on the ground 
Like a stray animal with no home of its own 
I shiver and pull my arms around myself to retain warmth 
Though I keep my eyes closed I feel the sky darken 
And the setting sun reminds me of a feeling I once knew 
Of the steadily falling passion within myself 
Once I was bright and my heart burned with promise 
Now in the cold and harsh light of reality 
I see what it is to suffer, to be alone 
To have lost what I was most afraid of losing 
Has left an echoing hollowness in my heart 

However the nearness of sunset proclaims action in my bones 
And suddenly I open my eyes and stand up 
Inside me hope lightens my soul and I know I am not too late 
To find again the path from which I so carelessly strayed 
With the last of the sunlight behind me I gaze around 
And my breath catches in my throat 
For in the distance, far across the fields 
I see a crowd of people walking a path 
And an eagerness to join them rises inside of me 
A desire to fill this void with a higher purpose 
Although I know this journey will be long 
Finally I will not be so alone, and I will be moving forwards 
And every step will be a step nearer to that which I crave 
For one day, whether soon or distant 
I know I will reach my home again






Charlotte Gardiner - February 2010